Enthusiastic: Laura Michelle Kelly. Source: Supplied
RESIDENT movie expert Leigh Paatsch's take on what the cinemas have to offer this week.
ADVENTURES IN ZAMBEZIA (G) Flawed of the wings, South Africa, 96 min
Average animated adventure best enjoyed by very small children. P'raps pre-schoolers who ain't that picky. Story tracks an ambitious young falcon who ventures to the city of Zambezia, a bustling metropolis of birds that is home to a legendary band of daredevil flyers. A nice morning out at the cinema for toddlers, but that's about it. Featuring the voices of Leonard Nimoy, Abigail Breslin, Samuel L. Jackson. Rating: 2/5
ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH (PG) Let us outta here!, US, 88 min
Sci-fi becomes why-even-try? in this messy, noisy and mediocre animated adventure for children. Brendan Fraser is the voice of a most annoying alien superhero who finds himself trapped in our backwards corner of the galaxy. The strobing visuals will bring on a headache (a lethargic voice cast sound as if they already have one) and redeeming qualities to the tale will remain a mystery. Rating: 1.5/5
GODDESS (PG) Vocal, viral and very nice, Australia, 104 min
This chirpy little Australian-made feelgood affair goes quite well in its own happily unpretentious way. The crucial need-to-know for most film goers will be the unavoidable fact that Goddess is a musical. An original musical at that. To the film's credit, an accessible plot has a very relevant reason for all the wanton warbling. What's more, the songs themselves are actually quite catchy, if middle-of-the-road pop a la Mamma Mia! is your thing. Charming British import Laura Michelle Kelly plays a housewife in rural Tasmania who finds fame and fortune when her video blog goes viral. Co-stars Ronan Keating, Magda Szubanski. Rating: 3/5
A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD (M) A franchise looking battered and Bruced, US, 97 min
Let us never forget the first two Die Hard movies were ripping, gripping pulp entertainment. That was over two decades ago.. Now here's Die Hard 5, which is as hazily forgettable as 3 and 4. Most will file it away for future trivia quizzes as "the one where John McClane goes to Moscow." John has an estranged son called Jack (Jai Courtney) who is in trouble in Russia. John goes over to save Jack. But Jack doesn't need saving, as he's really working undercover for the CIA. So begins a medium-paced merry-go-round of blam-blam-blam and blah-blah-blah, which includes a single double-cross twist that is too easy to pick, and several dodgy Russian accents that are too hard to stomach. An sub-par action affair, suitable only for die-hard Die Hard-ists looking to collect the set. Rating: 2/5
GREAT EXPECTATIONS (M) Mild repetitions, UK, 125 min
The classic Charles Dickens novel Great Expectations has been adapted too many times in the past few decades. There needs to be some kind of international treaty struck to let this rich tale rest and replenish. This latest version by British director Mike Newell (Love in the Time of Cholera) is a respectful, if unambitious effort. Thankfully, an accomplished cast was gathered for the occasion, and they do keep up their end of the bargain. Stars Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter, Sally Hawkins, Robbie Coltrane. Rating: 2.5/5
HYDE PARK ON HUDSON (M) From White House to trite house, US, 94 min
A fanciful embellishment of a (possibly) true story turns out to quite a drab and passionless affair. On the eve of WW2, US President Franklin D. Roosevelt (Bill Murray) receives the King and Queen of England at his country retreat. Matters of state do not matter as much to FDR as the health and happiness of his new mistress Daisy (Laura Linney). Who also happens to be his distant cousin. An oddly static experience that rarely ripples with any of the warmth or insight many associate with Roosevelt. May not be the fault of a visibly restrained Murray in the lead role, as the script gives him nothing to work with. Ditto the usually vibrant Linney, reduced to playing a dutiful dullard here.. Rating: 2/5
I GIVE IT A YEAR (M) Happy anti-anniversary!, UK, 101 min
This British rom-com is going after the same audience that made Death at a Funeral a hit 'round these here parts. Rose Byrne and Rafe Spall play newlyweds who seem to be the only two people in their social orbit who fail to realise they just weren't made for each other. Plenty of safe and predictable laughs are in the offing. Then again, if you feel like have your bad-taste buds tickled with edgier and dodgier fare, a good time awaits as well. However, these two lines of comic attack sometimes get tangled, and can't always be straightened out. Lanky, bespectacled Stephen Merchant saves the day when he can, peppering every scene with the first inappropriate thing that comes into his head. A fair, fun effort. Rating: 2.5/5
THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE (M) Abracadabra-ha-ha!, US, 97 min
While too bitsy to be regarded as a comedy classic, this is still a very amusing movie whenever some of those bits come together. The title character (played by Steve Carell) is a dinosaur of Las Vegas entertainment, an old-school magician with a tan, hairdo and fashion sense that can all be seen from outer space. Banished from a long-running casino engagement, Burt falls into a bitter rivalry with a bizarre new *extreme magician*. The movie's secret weapon is a surreally inspired Jim Carrey, who hasn't been this funny since dial-up modems ruled the internet. Co-stars Steve Buscemi, Olivia Wilde. Rating: 2/5
JACK THE GIANT SLAYER (M) See, sigh, so glum, US, 114 min
As far as fairy tale action blockbusters go, Jack the Giant Slayer is no match for 2012's under-rated Snow White and the Huntsman. However, this dour, stony-faced re-telling of Jack and the Beanstalk is five times better than that awful Hansel & Gretel : Witch Hunters. Nicholas Hoult stars as a noble peasant who sells his horse for a bag of magic beans. The beans open a portal to a land above the clouds, where marauding giants are holding a fair princess captive. The film is involving enough in that you do care about what becomes of Jack and the princess. However, the screenplay does have a habit of freezing on the spot when there are no epic battles in the offing. A little warm humour would have gone a long way here. Co-stars Eleanor Tomlinson, Ewan McGregor. Rating: 2.5/5
THE LONELIEST PLANET (M) Head over heart over hills, US-Germany, 113 min
They say travel broadens the mind. What would *they* know? Travel can also put the strongest relationships under extreme, even irreparable duress. This may or may not be the message communicated by an enigmatic outdoors drama set in the Caucasus Mountain region of Georgia. Gael Garcia Bernal and Hani Furstenberg play an engaged couple on an long-distance outdoors trek that puts their devotion to the test. The slow and meandering style of the film will not be to all tastes. Nevertheless there is a wisdom and assurance at work in key scenes that will stay with attentive viewers for some time to come. Rating: 3/5
MAMA (M) Parental guidance recommended, US-Spain, 100 min
A slow-burning chiller, not here to make friends, but to make you uncomfortable. For the past five years, young Victoria (Megan Charpantier) and Lilly (Isabelle Nelisse) have been missing, presumed dead. During that time the kids have been reared by a spooky spectral presence they call Mama. A return to the ways of the real world is going to be difficult. And not just because they now have to answer to their uncle's live-in girlfriend (Jessica Chastain). Especially once Mama discovers her former charges' new address, and begins turning up the paranormal heat on all who live there. Are you scared yet? Probably not. Doesn't matter. As a movie, Mama isn't keen to manufacture the short, sharp, shiftily-edited shocks most other modern horror flicks churn out by rote. Instead, first-time director Andy Muschietti is out to subtly unsettle (and often, just as subtly amuse) his audience with the suggestion of menace, rather than an all-too-literal depiction of all hell breaking loose. Rating: 3/5
MEA MAXIMA CULPA : SILENCE IN THE HOUSE OF GOD (M) A suffering no longer silenced, US, 105 min
This provocatively maddening, saddening documentary examines a seeming epidemic of pedophilic behaviour among priests of the Catholic Church. Though extensively covered in the media in recent years, the complexities of this tragic topic have proven difficult to understand. Award-winning filmmaker Alex Gibney (Enron : The Smartest Guys in the Room) has achieved a clear, accessible perspective on the situation. Not only through meticulous research. But also by revisiting a long-forgotten case at a school for the deaf that may have played a crucial part in shifting the Catholic Church's once-immovable stance. The four ex-students that participate in the doco (through sign language and voiceovers from actors such as Ethan Hawke and Chris Cooper) never totally give in to the aftershocks of the abuse they suffered. Viewers of all faiths will draw great inspiration from the resilience and true humanity shown here. Sadly, very little humanity is to be found in the higher reaches of the Catholic Church, going on the compelling evidence presented. Rating: 4.5/5
OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL (PG) Just enough magic to get by, US, 129 min
Did the world really need a fresh take on the origin story of the fella that became the Wonderful Wizard of Oz? Never mind. The target audience of Oz the Great and Powerful - non-discerning cineastes aged 10 and under - will still be happy enough with this prequel to one of the great children's movies of all-time. James Franco stars as Oscar Diggs, a dodgy travelling magician propelled by prairie tornado to the fabled land of Oz. Upon arrival, our hero gets an up-close look at a power struggle between witches wicked and good. While there is many a dull spot, director Sam Raimi knows exactly when a lively diversion is needed. Co-stars Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams. Rating: 3/5
PERFORMANCE (M) Playing to (im)perfection, US, 105 min
Impeccably acted drama set in the world of contemporary classical music. On the eve of their 25th season together, a world-renowned string quartets is on the brink of falling apart. A key member has been diagnosed with the early stages of Parkinson's Disease. Two married players are heading towards divorce. A film that gets so many of the *the little things* right, particularly the fragile inter-personal dynamic that powers the most creative musical ensembles. The cast is flawless, with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Catherine Keener holding everything together as the couple crumbling to bits. Christopher Walken is also remarkable here, possibly playing his first 'normal' character in many moons. Rating: 3.5/5
SIDE EFFECTS (MA15+) Not your usual med-time story, US, 105 min
A deceptively intoxicating thriller that can play both highly intelligent and highly implausible all at once. After a nervous breakdown, Emily (Rooney Mara) is referred to a hotshot British psychiatrist, Jim (Jude Law). He prescribes a recently-released wonder drug which looks as if it might be the quick fix for all of Emily's problems. As we come to learn, the anti-depressant that Jim is dispensing does a hell of a lot more than what it says on the label. Side Effects sells its competing lines of business - a little Hitchcock-ish at times, a bit Basic Instinct at others - very effectively indeed. Nevertheless, it is best not to take that cautionary tale of medicinal woe all too seriously. The film cunningly conceals a camp streak for as long as it can. By the final half-hour, it can be hidden no longer. As usual, director Steven Soderbergh (Traffic) is smart enough to never let such a tall story get the better of so many short, sharp thrills. Co-stars Channing Tatum. Rating: 3.5/5
21 & OVER (MA15+) Suitable for IQs 21 and under, US, 93 min
Someone projectile-vomits in slow-motion. Someone takes a wizz on someone else. Let's not go anywhere near the poop, OK? Yep, what we have here is one of those home-brand, The-Hangover-for-morons comedies that usually bypass cinemas for DVD hell. This one somehow got past quality control. Story involves some sex-stunned, semi-racist young dunces having one last big night before they start growing up. On the evidence presented here, the common cold will be cured before these jerks get called adults. Rating: 1/5
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